I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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