weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
