The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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