So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You are the jesus of drinking
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
