I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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