i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
