I don't think brook has ever known best
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
