So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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