Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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