I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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