His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
