Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
