he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i dont even know how to be here
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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