WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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