Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
