So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
