If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
