there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
