The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
