if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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