i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
