Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
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