ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
