I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
