Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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