he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
