Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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