Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
