wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
