i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
