At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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