is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
