he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
