I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
