i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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