I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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