I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
