I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Don't EVER smell your tampon
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
