So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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