um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
