When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
