I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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