We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
