is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
