Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
