You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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