At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The best revenge is premature balding
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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