Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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