Where is the hickey?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
