oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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